Here are some facts that just cannot be ignored:
My babies are 4 years old.
They are starting preschool next week.
They are super-excited about this.
They have never been in a non-family caregiver situation in their lives.
I am freaking out.
Don't get me wrong, they are going to school. I am not going to keep them home just because I am nervous. We have been preparing them ( and honestly, preparing me too) for this upcoming major milestone and transition. We have talked about how much fun it will be, how many friends they will have, how much they will learn, AND how Momma does not stay when they go to class, that school is just for the kids and that Momma will be waiting for you when you are done at the end of the day. And I think that they are okay with the fact that I will be leaving them at preschool 4 days a week for 1/2 a day and that I will be waiting for them to get home on the bus.
I think THEY are okay with this - but I am feeling doubtful about ME! I am counting on that I can hold it together until I am out of their sight and then I can go cry like a sissy in the car all I want - just not in front of them. I am not going to taint what will be an awesome experience for my guys with my fears and worries.
It's weird because the intense love and need to protect my boys I feel is what makes me worry about them going off without me, but that same love and protectiveness is why I want them to have a great time away from me. They need this, I know. I need this, so I am told.
And here we are at the threshold of Preschool. I have been able to home with them for more than 4 years and what a blessing that has been. I know how lucky I am. So, through every tear that I shed (including some as I write this) I will be grateful my boys are getting older and smarter and stronger and more independent. Grateful, that they are mine and will be home by lunch.
Jack and Quent are going to have an amazing, awesome time in preschool.
And Momma will get there too ☺
3 comments:
aww, Lisa, you are making me tear up. I can imagine how hard the first few days and weeks will be as you adjust to this new adventure. I'll be thinking of you all. The boys will have so much fun, they will love it and that will make it all worth the tears you will shed. I'm so proud of you for doing this...I'll be counting on you to remind me of all this when I get ready to send Natalie to preschool in a few years :)
You are a great Mom and have taught the boys the skills they need to thrive in school. They will do great and so will you. I think you will have more happy tears than sad or scared tears. Or at least I hope so. I Love You.
Tom
Wow!! SO exciting!! They will do great and hopefully you will, too!! I can understand though...heck, I have been dropping my kids off at daycare for what - 3+ years now and I still cry sometimes as I walk out! (mommy guilt!) and I was freaking out back in the spring while trying to make the decision whether to leave them at the daycare preschool or send them to GSRP. (we're staying put). And last night? while trying to read Sarah's new favorite book, I almost sobbed through it and had trouble finishing it (I'll Love you Forever). She wanted to read it tonight again and asked me if I could read it without being sad...It was tough, but I made it through!!
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